Zodtabcub is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, thoughtless narwhal.

Zodtabcub created tapeworms six million years ago.

If you believe in Zodtabcub, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Zodtabcub, he will be mildly annoyed.

Zodtabcub's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Zodtabcub's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear cyan skirts.

2. Always help frogs in need.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate goats.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.