Stafcubfub is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, witless gorilla.

Stafcubfub created Africa eight million years ago.

If you believe in Stafcubfub, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Stafcubfub, he will cry a lot.

Stafcubfub's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Stafcubfub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Do not wear skirts marked with orange.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never speak the names of asteroids aloud.