Jaddavpid is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, dishonest fairy.

Jaddavpid created vertebrates two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jaddavpid, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Jaddavpid, he will remove you from existence.

Jaddavpid's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Jaddavpid's Holy Commandments

1. Never stain your hands with indigo.

2. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

3. Always check lakes for frogs.

4. Always obey Jaddavpid's priests.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.