Cadtafzanhabkik is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, witty wren.

Cadtafzanhabkik created the planet Saturn six billion years ago.

If you believe in Cadtafzanhabkik, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Cadtafzanhabkik, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Cadtafzanhabkik's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Cadtafzanhabkik's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cadtafzanhabkik.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not speak sacred words in spring.

4. Never speak the names of planets aloud.

5. Always act with patience.