Lakditster is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, loving dog.

Lakditster created carbon three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lakditster, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Lakditster, she will boil you in a big pot.

Lakditster's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Lakditster's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Do not count beyond six during ceremonies.

4. Never gather eight ants in one place.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.