Witbiffom is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, moody octopus.

Witbiffom created an up quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Witbiffom, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Witbiffom, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Witbiffom's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Witbiffom's Holy Commandments

1. Always check lakes for frogs.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.