Xinbemyam is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, omniscient hare.

Xinbemyam created an up quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Xinbemyam, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Xinbemyam, he will throw large rocks at you.

Xinbemyam's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Xinbemyam's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear skirts.

2. Never allow bats to sleep beneath your roof.

3. Xinbemyam loves nematodes, so they must be honoured.

4. Never mention badgers.

5. Always maintain obedience during days of mourning.