Bonpoglad is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, awe-inspiring bee.

Bonpoglad created matter eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bonpoglad, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bonpoglad, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Bonpoglad's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Bonpoglad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not contemplate dark energy during the night.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never feed lots of strawberries to mites while wearing mauve dresses.

5. Hide from yellow swans for they are unholy.