Sistafnad is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, caring hamster.

Sistafnad created dark matter three million years ago.

If you believe in Sistafnad, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Sistafnad, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Sistafnad's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Sistafnad's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant mauve sculpture of Sistafnad in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never feed turnips to monkeys while wearing black corsets.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not trade with those who eat bread.

5. Never cross mountains at dawn.