Stafxemyarlegdumbaf is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, annoying zebra.

Stafxemyarlegdumbaf created a charm quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stafxemyarlegdumbaf, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Stafxemyarlegdumbaf, she will think nothing of it.

Stafxemyarlegdumbaf's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Stafxemyarlegdumbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

2. Do not utter prayers while touching tin.

3. Always count to four before sleeping.

4. Never speak at midday.

5. Do not commit murder.