Mumstipjarn Gigfutmeg is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, prudent crocodile.

Mumstipjarn Gigfutmeg created tapeworms six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mumstipjarn Gigfutmeg, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Mumstipjarn Gigfutmeg, he will boil you in a big pot.

Mumstipjarn Gigfutmeg's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Mumstipjarn Gigfutmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with humility.

2. Do not prepare rice while wearing jumpers.

3. Always remove shoes before entering holy places.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never write about moons.