Godxucjapfossgessjendodfoss is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, intelligent snake.

Godxucjapfossgessjendodfoss created the cosmos five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Godxucjapfossgessjendodfoss, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Godxucjapfossgessjendodfoss, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Godxucjapfossgessjendodfoss' most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Godxucjapfossgessjendodfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Never mix garlic with oil.

2. Never write about nebulae.

3. Do not prepare strawberries while wearing kilts.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Godxucjapfossgessjendodfoss.

5. Never write about nucleic acids.