Dinfosstalflig Vogcemjad is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, passionate porpoise.

Dinfosstalflig Vogcemjad created tapeworms nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dinfosstalflig Vogcemjad, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Dinfosstalflig Vogcemjad, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Dinfosstalflig Vogcemjad's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Dinfosstalflig Vogcemjad's Holy Commandments

1. Never point your face toward the south during prayer.

2. Do not travel during autumn.

3. Dogs are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not gather at doors at midnight.

5. Do not utter prayers while touching carbon.