Guptargess is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, blissful fish.

Guptargess created the universe seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Guptargess, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Guptargess, he will come to you in dreams.

Guptargess' most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Guptargess' Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not sing in public.

4. Learn nine new languages a year.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.