Fetkomsugjancamnatnak Carcubteenquat is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, humorless dragonfly.

Fetkomsugjancamnatnak Carcubteenquat created a strange quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Fetkomsugjancamnatnak Carcubteenquat, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Fetkomsugjancamnatnak Carcubteenquat, he will destroy your favourite star.

Fetkomsugjancamnatnak Carcubteenquat's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Fetkomsugjancamnatnak Carcubteenquat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Always make sure there are no bats in a building before entering it.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not place peanuts upon stone.

5. Never allow voles to sleep beneath your roof.