Sidcenrow is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, duplicitous porpoise.

Sidcenrow created Mount Everest seven million years ago.

If you believe in Sidcenrow, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Sidcenrow, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Sidcenrow's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Sidcenrow's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Sidcenrow.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

3. Sidcenrow must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never fashion tools from clay.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.