Catkonbod is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, dishonest porpoise.

Catkonbod created the world nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Catkonbod, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Catkonbod, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Catkonbod's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Catkonbod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not gather at doors at dawn.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never feed spinach to sheep while wearing ear rings.

5. Never talk about fire.