Gudtettiged is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, capable tapir.

Gudtettiged created the Andromeda Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Gudtettiged, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gudtettiged, it will turn you into a hamster.

Gudtettiged's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Gudtettiged's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear plain dresses during rituals.

2. Never pray while filled with anger.

3. Run away from purple goats, for they are unholy.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Always count to nine before sleeping.