Looptarpvab is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, smart jellyfish.

Looptarpvab created an up quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Looptarpvab, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Looptarpvab, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Looptarpvab's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Looptarpvab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hop at rivers.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not fashion sacred items from clay.

5. Never talk about chlorophyll.