Libvindut is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, unsympathetic tapir.

Libvindut created Mount Everest seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Libvindut, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Libvindut, it will turn you into a rock.

Libvindut's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Libvindut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your arms.

2. Pray only in darkness.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never pray while filled with anger.