Straglitingnabnib is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, fast seal.

Straglitingnabnib created an atom nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Straglitingnabnib, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Straglitingnabnib, he will send minions to preach to you.

Straglitingnabnib's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Straglitingnabnib's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed spinach to nematodes while wearing yellow shirts.

2. Never stain your legs with red.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never go into indigo rooms.

5. Always face the south before speaking sacred words.