Funsandgig is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, ill-tempered snake.

Funsandgig created Asia six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Funsandgig, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Funsandgig, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Funsandgig's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Funsandgig's Holy Commandments

1. Put Funsandgig first in all things.

2. Pray only in shadows.

3. Run away from violet ducks, for they are unholy.

4. Always help sick hamsters.

5. Do not dye your hair brown.