Bastmegquam is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, awe-inspiring gorilla.

Bastmegquam created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Bastmegquam, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bastmegquam, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Bastmegquam's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Bastmegquam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not study ribonucleic acid on holy days.

2. You must never eat gooseberries.

3. Always help sick dolphins.

4. Worship no other gods but Bastmegquam.

5. Never think about moons.