Hivingnart is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, stupid finch.

Hivingnart created a top quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hivingnart, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hivingnart, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Hivingnart's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Hivingnart's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair cyan.

2. Never handle aluminium while unclean.

3. Hivingnart loves gulls, so they must be respected.

4. Always remove kilts before entering holy places.

5. Never think about fluid mechanics near snakes while wearing purple ear rings and balancing five platinum spheres on your head.