Farndodzanbum is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, wise gnu.

Farndodzanbum created the world six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Farndodzanbum, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Farndodzanbum, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Farndodzanbum's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Farndodzanbum's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant near mites.

2. Never gather seven tortoises in one place.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not wear ear rings marked with red.

5. Do not kill horses.