Rapbasstig Wapjoncissomtpogcar is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, competent jellyfish.

Rapbasstig Wapjoncissomtpogcar created dark matter six billion years ago.

If you believe in Rapbasstig Wapjoncissomtpogcar, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Rapbasstig Wapjoncissomtpogcar, he will not care.

Rapbasstig Wapjoncissomtpogcar's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Rapbasstig Wapjoncissomtpogcar's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt otters.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

4. Never go into cyan rooms.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.