Flapbabstan is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, emotional mouse.

Flapbabstan created Mount Everest eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flapbabstan, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Flapbabstan, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Flapbabstan's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Flapbabstan's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no dolphins in a room before entering it.

2. Never talk about optics near frogs while wearing cyan corsets and balancing six silicon spheres on your face.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never speak of order in the presence of strangers.

5. Always take life seriously.