Sitsawbap is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, calm shark.

Sitsawbap created light five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sitsawbap, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Sitsawbap, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Sitsawbap's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Sitsawbap's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at planets.

2. Never discuss amino acids in public assemblies.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Heed all signs.

5. You must pray to Sitsawbap seven times a day.