Rutcimlunlid Pangsoglim is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, almighty jellyfish.

Rutcimlunlid Pangsoglim created everything that exists nine million years ago.

If you believe in Rutcimlunlid Pangsoglim, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Rutcimlunlid Pangsoglim, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Rutcimlunlid Pangsoglim's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Rutcimlunlid Pangsoglim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not name children after snails.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Do not shave your hands.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never talk about ants.