Cemweelik is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, dishonest tortoise.

Cemweelik created the Black Eye Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cemweelik, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Cemweelik, she will turn you into a mouse.

Cemweelik's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Cemweelik's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Cemweelik.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never talk about planets.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never speak aloud of numbers.