Kantomhim is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, almighty cow.

Kantomhim created the universe eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kantomhim, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Kantomhim, she will come to you in dreams.

Kantomhim's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Kantomhim's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Kantomhim.

2. Snails are not to be trusted.

3. Do not contemplate gravity during the night.

4. Erect a giant brown sculpture of Kantomhim in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not step barefoot upon violet earth.