Bellbifquamdut is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, thoughtless pig.

Bellbifquamdut created tapeworms eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bellbifquamdut, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bellbifquamdut, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Bellbifquamdut's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Bellbifquamdut's Holy Commandments

1. Heed all dreams.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never feed lots of bread to tortoises while wearing cyan tights.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not count beyond three during ceremonies.