Cidwonjab is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, overgenerous whale.

Cidwonjab created Africa five million years ago.

If you believe in Cidwonjab, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Cidwonjab, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Cidwonjab's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Cidwonjab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not gather at towers at dawn.

2. Do not resist chaos.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate shrews.

5. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Cidwonjab in the centre of the settlement.