Vilsasteen is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, generous elephant.

Vilsasteen created the Small Magellanic Cloud five million years ago.

If you believe in Vilsasteen, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Vilsasteen, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Vilsasteen's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Vilsasteen's Holy Commandments

1. Frogs are not to be trusted.

2. Always share apples with strangers, but never with snails.

3. Never talk about ultrasonics.

4. Do not wear trousers marked with pink.

5. Do not trade with those who eat turnips.