Lanbonklat is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, slow turtle.

Lanbonklat created the planet Mars seven million years ago.

If you believe in Lanbonklat, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Lanbonklat, she will try to impress you with trees.

Lanbonklat's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Lanbonklat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

2. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.

3. Never carve symbols of moons into wood.

4. Do not contemplate quantum gravity during the night.

5. Heed all visions.