Kimlarpvonkgud is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, intelligent manatee.

Kimlarpvonkgud created the planet Earth seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kimlarpvonkgud, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Kimlarpvonkgud, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Kimlarpvonkgud's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Kimlarpvonkgud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill eagles.

2. Do not speak of fluid mechanics near sacred fires.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Never hurt moths.

5. Always wear plain trousers during rituals.