Abyogkamtig is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, witty frog.

Abyogkamtig created matter twelve years ago.

If you believe in Abyogkamtig, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Abyogkamtig, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Abyogkamtig's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Abyogkamtig's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak aloud of names.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Do not chop down trees.