Tarlegwap is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, cheerful hummingbird.

Tarlegwap created dark energy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarlegwap, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tarlegwap, he will strike you with lightening.

Tarlegwap's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Tarlegwap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion sacred items from ash.

2. Do not name children after dolphins.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Feed all hungry voles.

5. Do not commit murder.