Ruttoffas Jansafman is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, overgenerous mongoose.

Ruttoffas Jansafman created vertebrates seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ruttoffas Jansafman, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Ruttoffas Jansafman, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Ruttoffas Jansafman's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Ruttoffas Jansafman's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion sacred items from ash.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Ruttoffas Jansafman.

3. Always maintain purity during days of mourning.

4. Erect five titanium sculptures of Ruttoffas Jansafman on top of important buildings.

5. Do not dye your hair green.