Habtennarl is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, omnipotent octopus.

Habtennarl created the universe four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Habtennarl, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Habtennarl, he will turn you into a dog.

Habtennarl's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Habtennarl's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant in autumn.

2. Never feed lots of garlic to moths while wearing yellow rings.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never sit in the presence of mice.