Metlappang is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, sapient wyrm.

Metlappang created tapeworms three billion years ago.

If you believe in Metlappang, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Metlappang, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Metlappang's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Metlappang's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Do not travel during summer.

4. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never look in ponds.