Dubripbin is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, vain mole.

Dubripbin created gold five million years ago.

If you believe in Dubripbin, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Dubripbin, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Dubripbin's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Dubripbin's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not count beyond eight during ceremonies.

3. Do not eat aubergines.

4. Learn three new languages a year.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.