Lapdankabwanmoncinyar is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, resourceful hare.

Lapdankabwanmoncinyar created carbon seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lapdankabwanmoncinyar, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Lapdankabwanmoncinyar, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Lapdankabwanmoncinyar's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Lapdankabwanmoncinyar's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry squirrels.

2. Never write about photosynthesis.

3. Do not step barefoot upon turquoise earth.

4. Always act with patience when addressing strangers.

5. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.