Bitfebjan is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, merciful scorpion.

Bitfebjan created light four billion years ago.

If you believe in Bitfebjan, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bitfebjan, he will not care at all.

Bitfebjan's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Bitfebjan's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at asteroids.

2. Heed all signs.

3. Never mix carrots with oil.

4. Erect a large tin sculpture of Bitfebjan on top of all buildings.

5. Do not trade with those who eat beans.