Lablenwadfoss is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, contented manatee.

Lablenwadfoss created matter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lablenwadfoss, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Lablenwadfoss, she will jump up and down on your head.

Lablenwadfoss' most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Lablenwadfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

3. Worship no other gods but Lablenwadfoss.

4. Never speak aloud of signs.

5. Never allow foxes to witness sacred rites.