Komstigrul Garkinbop is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, tranquil gorilla.

Komstigrul Garkinbop created gold nine million years ago.

If you believe in Komstigrul Garkinbop, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Komstigrul Garkinbop, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Komstigrul Garkinbop's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Komstigrul Garkinbop's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse your hands after touching titanium.

2. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Always make sure there are no mites in a building before entering it.

4. Swans are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never remain standing at dawn.