Rowruttpad is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, dishonourable tortoise.

Rowruttpad created a charm quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rowruttpad, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Rowruttpad, it will turn you into a worm.

Rowruttpad's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Rowruttpad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not travel during spring.

2. Never eat oranges.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not wear ear rings marked with mauve.