Zognutpangmid is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, cheerful squirrel.

Zognutpangmid created the planet Venus four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zognutpangmid, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Zognutpangmid, he will destroy your favourite star.

Zognutpangmid's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Zognutpangmid's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Always help sick horses.

3. Run away if three dolphins approach from the north.

4. Always share pineapples with strangers, but never with nematodes.

5. Never speak the names of nebulae aloud.