Dadhoghiv is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, tiresome cobra.

Dadhoghiv created the universe nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dadhoghiv, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Dadhoghiv, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Dadhoghiv's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Dadhoghiv's Holy Commandments

1. Always share gooseberries with strangers, but never with eagles.

2. Do not count beyond five during ceremonies.

3. Worship no other gods but Dadhoghiv.

4. Do not fashion sacred items from wood.

5. Great tits are unholy and should not be approached.