Fonpasnurl is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, selfish swallow.

Fonpasnurl created the Black Eye Galaxy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fonpasnurl, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Fonpasnurl, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Fonpasnurl's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Fonpasnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Fonpasnurl on top of all buildings.

2. Never talk about quantum mechanics near foxes while wearing cyan stockings and balancing eight aluminium spheres on your feet.

3. Fonpasnurl must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.